Support Groups To Do WRONG?

Warning: The following blog will trigger some people. It is Free Speech and it is written not out of hatred but out of love and the desire to make people think twice, thrice, or more about what they are doing with their children’s lives.



In the last month I’ve seen two or three PBS (taxpayer funded) shows on how to accept being LGBTQ, etc. (I think there are more but I don’t know what they are). I watched one recently about a woman who decided when she was little that she wasn’t a girl, but a boy. She had always wanted to be a boy and as an adult she finally made the medical change to her exterior body so that she could become an exterior male. Her DNA is still female and no matter how long she lived nor how she died, years later if her bones were dug up and her DNA tested the results would be that the bones belonged to a female. Would that result be changed by the externals? Does a full body tattoo change you into an oil painting?

In the show the “transgendered man” (the woman) decided to “help” children – children – by starting a “support group” so that they could have support in their childhood belief that they, too, were trapped in the wrong bodies. They filmed the kids in the group rejoicing in the fact that – as minors -- they were undergoing hormone therapies, getting “binding” shirts, and making decisions about whether to remove their internal reproductive organs along with changing their externals. I watched in sadness and pity as they talked about how glad they were to be going through the process.

Then I watched as at least one parental support group was founded and the parents who were dealing with their children’s beliefs about their bodies were filmed talking about how some had a difficult time with it, and how hard it was to realize they would not have grandchildren and how bad they felt after acquiescing to their child’s – I’ll repeat that: child’s – delusions and finally buying him dresses and frilly things. She felt guilty about denying that joy to her son for so long.

That’s when my heart sank. I really was amazed that the parents were so guided by their child instead of the parents’ wisdom, experience and authority guiding the child. The parents had all given up and given in. They let the immaturity of their child (as young as six!) guide their own decisions instead of vice versa. That’s not just sad, it’s wrong, stupid and fear based. The parents who cave to that sort of emotional blackmail (for that is what it is) fear their child’s love being withdrawn more than they fear what the future may hold if they do what is right for their child. Basing life-impacting decisions on fear of losing your child’s approval, friendship, love is not doing what is best for the child.

As for the support groups, that really irked me. The old saying “Misery loves company” is what I saw in that group. I saw people asking others to join them in their self-destructive behaviors and beliefs. I saw people acting like drug addicts supporting each other in their addictions. I saw an adult leading young children and teens into the abyss of “I did it, you can, too!” Like a pied piper leading the way to the candy store where it’s all free today, the adult “facilitated” the belief that the children were wrong: in the wrong body, trapped by their sexual feelings and identity that conflicted with their physical bodies and their DNA and that if they just had the medications and operations they’d be “fixed”. To me, that’s the wrong message. It’s a message that they are damaged, incorrect and incomplete as they are and that they need to be allowed to go to drastic measures to be made right.

The support group: As I’ve said it was a group that supported doing the wrong thing There is no need for a support group if you are doing the right thing. Doing the right thing – what you know is correct in the eyes of GOD and what is best for your child – does not create a demand for a support group. Doing the right thing is its own support group. If you tell your child that he cannot play in the middle of a busy highway do you have to go to “Bad Dad Anonymous” that evening because you feel so guilty about telling your child no? Do you have to call someone for a crisis counseling session when you tell your nine-year-old that she cannot drink antifreeze? Rhetorical questions, but you get the point.

When you are doing the right thing, whether child or adult, you know that it’s the right thing. You know that what you are doing is right in the eyes of GOD and doing it does not create conflict within your soul. It makes you happy, proud and content. When you are doing what’s right you call people and brag about it. You know that it’s the right thing and you have peace in your soul.

Contrast that to what the support group encouraging children to make decisions they have no right, should have no authority, and certainly have not the wisdom to make and it is astonishing that anyone would attend such a group. The problem is the groups were full and there are more forming all the time! Parents, why are you allowing others to encourage your child to do something so damaging and drastic? Wasn’t there a time when our children were precious to us and we would pull them away from those who would encourage such destructive behavior in children. Now? We drop our children off to spend an hour or two with the people who do so and come back and pick them up to go shopping for clothing of the gender they want to become.

The taxpayer funded PBS transgender shows lately have been positive representations about support groups for those who need them. Does that sound like anyone believes that “transitioning” is the right thing? Are support groups, psychological counseling, special treatment; all signs of doing the right thing?

When did psychiatry take leave of its senses and decide that someone choosing to allow a minor – sometimes very young children (I’ve seen a show that featured a six-year-old boy being allowed and encouraged to dress as a girl) – to decide what was right and what was wrong? If that be the case for such an important decision as gender why cannot children decide also what job Dad should have, or what the family budget should be, or whether the brother the transgender child hates should undergo a lifesaving operation? When did it become okay for the youngest member of the family to make the biggest decision in the family? When did parents stop being parents?

If you want what’s best for your child, don’t let the child make the decisions! The child is meant to be able to rely on Mom and Dad for that sort of thing. It’s the Mom and Dad’s responsibility to make the big decisions, not to leave it to their child.

There is also something else that the Mom and Dad are not supposed to do and that is to influence the child toward something that will require psychological counseling and/or support groups! Be the Mom and Dad! Be the responsible parent who says, “No. This is not the truth. It’s not what is right. You are confused and it’s difficult to be confused but when you are confused it’s not a good idea to make life-changing decisions. I will love you forever, but I will not approve of any drastic decisions or actions you may wish to make. Right is right and as long as you are under my roof and I’m paying your bills you will be dressed as you were born.” As an adult Mom and Dad don’t make big decisions out of confusion – or at least they shouldn’t – and yet, they allow their child to do so and go along with that child so that the child won’t be angry at them? Really?

I can hear the politically correct crowd screaming at this blog, “Oh! You’re terrible! Support groups are used for a lot of things that are right: Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group and that’s doing good things! Support groups are used for medical conditions and other things, and they are doing good things! You’re just a bigot! You’re just doing hate speech! You’re an awful person!”

Alcoholics Anonymous is a support group for those who wish to stop doing the wrong thing, not to start doing the wrong thing. When a support group is needed to help people go against GOD, go against the way the family is supposed to function (the child making the decisions) and against human creation, then it’s a support group that is supporting doing wrong thing. It is a support group that is supporting sin and helping others accept it; which is why it’s so hard to accept! Sin is sin! Accepting sin is not easy and support groups that help people accept sin are not good!

Consider: When was the last time you saw a support group for those who are planning to commit, or have committed murder and the corresponding support group for their loved ones who are now sullied via association? (Or when was the last time you saw family members support the idea; outside of generational gang members?) Are there support groups for people who are having affairs? Are there support groups for people who wish to continue committing burglaries, shoplifting, embezzling? No? Why not? If having support groups for doing one wrong thing is desirable then would not support groups for the other sins be a good idea, too?

Yet, when it comes to six-, eleven-, or fourteen-year-olds deciding that they are not the gender they were born as then in this twisted, politically correct world it has to be celebrated and supported not just by those around them but by the world as a whole. Their confusion must be passed on to the rest of us and none can withstand the onslaught of political correctness and if you do, you shall pay!

Heaven and hell shall both rain down on me their fury and my eyes shall be plucked out, my tongue removed and my children taken away from me because I cannot be a good influence on them because I refuse to fall prey to the agenda of the politically correct and sinful! How dare I! (And how dare I call it “sin”!?) I shall dare ask the “Big Question” again: If it isn’t sin then why does it cause such pain for those who are choosing it and the parents allowing or going through it with their child? Doing the right thing does not cause pain, confusion, embarrassment, shame. Doing the right thing is just easy. Why can’t parents nowadays do the right thing, stick to their beliefs and say “No.”?

Could there be an upset child if the parent says “No”? Yep. Absolutely. But where is it said that you should raise your child with your child never experiencing disappointment, irritation, frustration with you? Be the parent. Be the strong one. Your child needs you to do so.

If your child were online and talking to strangers online would you want your child to go alone to meet that stranger and do whatever the stranger and child want? No? Then you’d be the parent and say not just “No!” but “No way!” right? Is that not going to cause disappointment, irritation, frustration with you as well? So why not allow your child to do that? After all, it’s just as safe.

Let us not forget the fact that the choices “parents” (and I use the term loosely for those who are allowing their children to make these choices while they are still minors) are also condemning their children to a suicide attempt rate of as high as 41%1 (those who experience harassment, violence, etc2.) and saying “Yes, you can!” to someone who wants to change genders when they are ten is not going to help them avoid that!

What’s it going to be, world? Are you going to allow parents to be parents and do the right thing for their child in saying “No!” or are you going to pressure and shame parents into conforming with the politically correct crowd and allowing their child to make decisions that should only be made by adults and should not be encouraged prior to reaching the age of majority? Is doing the right thing going so far beyond the realm of parenting nowadays that the child is allowed to make a 41% suicide rate decision?

You would allow that but you call me hateful? Are you not the hateful ones because of your desire to cause more people to go through an operation that would subject them to the kind of future that includes a suicide rate as high as 41% when the average suicide rate for Americans is 14.7%3? If you are encouraging these children (and that’s what they are: children) to face that sort of future suicide rate possibility, are you not the hateful one? What I am saying is encouraging them to live without that decision and without that regret! Why is that “hateful”? Again, it’s like saying “No!” to someone who wishes to play on a busy highway! A forty-one percent suicide rate possibility is not a future anyone should look forward to!

I can also hear you screaming: “But it is things like what you’ve written here that makes them commit suicide because it’s your hatefulness that supports those who will make that happen!” Is it?

Which hurts more: someone saying “No, you should not be doing that because it’s bad for you”, or saying “Go ahead and do that and if it makes your life worse, so be it! At least you did what you wanted and it’s a free country!” It’s not what a child wants that should dictate what they get! Yes, for Christmas get them the book, the Xbox, the CDs, but don’t cave to that child’s desire to do the wrong thing! Stand up and be a parent!

There is an attitude out there that says that if you get the sex change operation you are “living authentically4”. Ooohh. That sounds so profound does it not? The problem is that being “authentic” also includes admitting that you are experiencing something difficult to go through but that you’re going to be strong and courageous and you’re going to do what is right, not just what is currently supported and not something to feed the addiction. Many people struggle with difficult things in their lives, but there are not always surgical changes that can be an alleged “magic bullet” to make things right with the world. Even if you were “living authentically” via having a sex change operation how long is that “authenticity” going to last when those who do go through with gender reassignment surgery live a much shorter life than heterosexuals5.

Struggle makes us stronger, or at least it used to. Nowadays no one can face any amount of adversity, difficulty, or pain. Life must be covered in fairy dust and fluffy clouds, rainbows and unicorns and no one should experience the slightest amount of discomfort. Isn’t that right? Neither child nor adult should have to spend a nanosecond in mental distress. The world must be covered in bubble wrap physically and emotionally and anyone who disagrees with the politically correct crowd who supports the childhood decision to commit to a transfiguring operation must be silenced because they’re a bigot.

A 2011 study found6:

“Results: “The overall mortality for sex-reassigned persons was higher during follow-up (aHR 2.8; 95% CI 1.8–4.3) than for controls of the same birth sex, particularly death from suicide (aHR 19.1; 95% CI 5.8–62.9). Sex-reassigned persons also had an increased risk for suicide attempts (aHR 4.9; 95% CI 2.9–8.5) and psychiatric inpatient care (aHR 2.8; 95% CI 2.0–3.9). Comparisons with controls matched on reassigned sex yielded similar results. Female-to-males, but not male-to-females, had a higher risk for criminal convictions than their respective birth sex controls.
“Conclusions:
“Persons with transsexualism, after sex reassignment, have considerably higher risks for mortality, suicidal behaviour, and psychiatric morbidity than the general population. Our findings suggest that sex reassignment, although alleviating gender dysphoria, may not suffice as treatment for transsexualism, and should inspire improved psychiatric and somatic care after sex reassignment for this patient group.”

Sound like gender reassignment surgery is all roses or even a good answer? If not, then a smart parent, a loving grandparent, whoever loves that child should say “No.” and there are myriad excuses for the people who allegedly love the child to not do so, but how many excuses do we need for doing the right thing?

Something one of the children in the support group said shocked me. She/He (I have forgotten what the DNA said the child started as) said (paraphrasing) that if someone had an accident or something happened to say, a man and he didn’t have a penis anymore due to that accident would that make him any less who he was? If not the child asked, why does it matter whether that child’s genitals were altered? Wouldn’t they still be who they are? DUH! If the child had the maturity needed to thoroughly understand the choice they are making, the child would realize that if their own "logic" was applied to them making that choice the child would realize that changing the outside of their own body will not change who they are so why bother with the operation? The total lack of awareness in that question was shocking and disturbing yet parents worldwide are allowing children who haven’t the awareness and maturity to realize that truth to make such a horrible decision at such young ages.

What is wrong with those parents and the doctors who put the money they will make on the operations and treatment ahead of the child who is being subjected to what amounts to a social experiment at the expense of that child? We already abort babies in utero and that has destroyed part of your soul if you if you support that practice. Are we as a society simply prolonging that abortion period out to the time after the gender reassignment when the transformed child realizes that the operation did not make everything all roses and rainbows and the unhappiness is creeping in again and then what? What can be changed back, switched out, or operated on to make one happy then? If the surgeon offers nothing new and exciting to try will the sleeping pills hold the answer? Will we have a generation that is split in half via suicide due to this sort of lax parenting and irresponsible doctoring? What price will we pay for laziness and fear of our children being angry at our decision, of shouldering the responsibilities ourselves, or of trying to fit in and keeping our child’s “love” when it could be no more than a cry of the soul, “Mom, Dad, do you love me and when will you set a boundary for me to finally show me that you love me enough to say ‘NO!’?”

In conclusion, boundaries are good7 and if parents don’t have the courage to set them they are setting their child up for failure and unhappiness. Support groups that encourage doing the wrong thing should not be seen as a positive environment for children. Parents have a hard time dealing with them if the show I saw was any indication. Yet, the parents were allowing their child to attend the support group that says, “Do what is wrong. Do what is going to be harmful to you. Do what will not make you happy, will possibly shorten your life and make you no different on the inside than you already are, just do it!” That’s irresponsible parenting and it’s really sad that parents who do this are not wise enough to realize it.

1) http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/suicide-attempts-among-transgender-and-gender-non-conforming-adults/ By Ann P. Haas, Philip L. Rodgers, Jody L. Herman January 2014: Retrieved 10/24/2016, 3:12 a.m.

2) http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf The Williams Institute Suicide Attempts among Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Adults: Retrieved 10/24/2016, 3:15 a.m.

3) https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/ American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: Retrieved 10/24/2016, 3:29 a.m.

4) http://www.livescience.com/9648-sex-change-operations-science-sociology-psychology.html Live Science; Sex Change Operations: The Science, Sociology and Psychology by Sally Law; Retrieved 10/24/16, 4:07 a.m.

5) http://www.peter-ould.net/2013/11/13/transgender-mortality-rates/ Transgender Mortality Rates by Peter Ould; Retrieved 10/24/2016, 4:33 a.m.

6) http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article/asset?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885.PDF Long-Term Follow-Up of Transsexual Persons Undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery: Cohort Study in Sweden Cecilia Dhejne1, Paul Lichtenstein2, Marcus Boman2, Anna L. V. Johansson2, Niklas La ˚ngstro ¨m2,3, Mikael Lande: Retrieved 10/24/2016, 4:45 a.m.

7) http://www.theconfidentmom.com/04/faith-and-family/setting-boundaries-children/ How Boundary Setting Can Positively Affect Children – Tamara Wilhelm, MA, LMHC, Retrieved 10/25/16, 2:28 a.m.